Who I am
How I define my own identity
What makes me UNIQUE
How I view my own world
How I see things differently than others
and How others see me
And also for the second part of this assignment I am supposed to write about my FEARS which is kind of terrifying to even think about already because I am supposed to just tell everybody reading this about What I want to do, and what holds me back from doing that.
So I have decided to do my culminating assignment about how I do NOT know exactly who I am and go from there so,...
WHO AM I?
All I really know is that, I am 17 years old, almost 18, I am in high school, I am NOT the smartest person when it comes to Math, Science, or really anything that has to do with using my mind to the full extent and putting EVERYTHING on the line.
I know that by now, most people are supposed to know what they want to do, they already have most things planned out and it's almost like their ready to lead their lives and start right away as soon as they are done High School. But for me, I don't even know what i plan on doing for a job, or even normal plans next week, I don't know ANYTHING.
I know that I would like to be a criminologist but I don't know what to do to get there and I don't know what to accomplish or how to keep myself on track or anything like that. Hell, i'm not even sure if being a Criminologist is something I actually WANT to do or if it's just a spur of the moment "Criminal Minds Got Me Into It" kind of thing.
Everybody thinks they know what they want to do when they grow up.
When we were 5, we wanted to be a princess or a prince.
When we were 10, we wanted to be an Astronaut or a Dinosaur Hunter
When we were 15 we wanted to be a millionaire with a huge house, a beach house, 10 cars and all the things to do in the world with no regrets.
But what we never really take the time to realize is that, we have all of these hopes and dreams. But when it comes time to act on it, get ourselves prepared and go out there and GET WHAT WE WANT
We freeze, forget everything we wanted to do, we become puzzled and lost and we lose track of time and eventually we're either rushing last minute to try and get our lives on track or some of us never get where we want to go.
It's almost like we try and try and try our entire lives but once the time comes to do it, we can't.
We were raised our lives either spoiled or hard workers or some of us just never made it very far in life at all,
Some of us have the richest families who give us whatever we want from a new bag to a new car to a new house or even to pay off college completely.
But other families where the kids have parents that make enough money to survive on but will never make enough to get you through college, we have to bust our butts every waking moment of our lives just so that we can TRY to make it with very little debt.
And others, will never make it that far, we will either be stuck in the same house with our parents for the rest of our lives and never make it any further than a low minimum wage job, or some of us will just never make it, money or not.
Everybody has their talents, everybody has their own way of doing something, just because it's not done like everybody else doesn't mean it's not good enough, as long as your working for it and you know that your putting your all into something. That is good enough on it's own!
Now, while writing this, I still don't know what I want to do with my life, I know that I wan't to be successful, make a good pay and have a family and have a good life after High School, but the problem is, I still don;t know how to get there and what exactly I am going to do to make sure I live up to my own expectations on myself.
My mom always reminds me everyday, she says "Sara, none of your sisters wen't to college, i'm not sure when your brothers will even be ready to go if they do go, but all I want is for one of my kids to have a good, enjoyable, and successful life. I wan't you to be able to travel and see the world, and after a while once you know your ready I wan't you to be able to settle down, have a family and then travel with your family and have the perfect life for you"
To this day, my moms words still give me motivation and courage to do what I need to do, it's just almost a impossible thought some days to think about one day, I could be successful with a family and travel all the time,
It all seems so impossible and complicated, I never saw myself as someone who can go so far in life and be able to do all of these things that my mom want's for me. And to be honest,
It terrifies me,
Knowing that one day ... SOON,
I am going to have to move out, get a job, by a house, get a vehicle and do EVERYTHING on my own, I mean, I have been doing things for myself for a long time now, I've grown very used to it and I actually don't mind it,
It's just the thought that some day it's actually going to be permanent and that I won't need my mom anymore and that I'll never be able to see her everyday like I do sometimes, scares the hell out of me!
I'm also scared because College alone is going to cause me all of the struggles in the world, it is going to be so hard trying top get through, especially if I never make enough to get me through college then I have to go through loans, and debt and all of these struggles, I'm honestly not sure what I am going to do to make sure that I can JUST make it by.
This is a constant struggle for every new college student, or just college students in general.
So if we are expected right after High School to go straight to College and make something more of ourselves, but what most people aren't worrying about is "How is this person going to pay for everything? his money problems at the house are a constant struggle how is he going to make it?... oh well, he will figure it out"
Stuff like that isn't fair. I wish there was a rule that the College is free and you go there for the sake of learning and starting your life and doing something with yourself.
So though this assignment, I'm not sure who I am, i'm not sure what I want to do, I don't know how I am going to get there and I don't feel comfortable with sharing my fears with everybody just yet.
That is my Culminating, I hope you liked it! Thank You <3
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